It happened again. When I woke, I was gasping for air, and immediately my eyes teared up. I felt so dizzy, so heartbroken...this was supposed to be over! Jefferson wasn't here, and would never be again, so why did I keep hoping? But now the melody was in my head, carrying my thoughts back to that night. I could still feel his arms around me, twirling me. Oh miss believer...His soft voice sang our song softly.
Our song
.
Before I knew it, a tear had found its way down my cheek and under my chin. I quickly wiped it away with the back of my hand. I still hadn't moved on. Grabbing my keys, I threw a hoodie over my pajama shirt, and put on some pants. I moved into the bathroom and got out my makeup. I was about to start putting it on when I looked at my reflection, and I couldn't help but freeze for a moment and stare. My acne had cleared a little this week, but my hair was as dead as ever. I never did understand why Jefferson had cared so much about me, after all, I never did. There wasn't a single thing about me that I liked, yet he always said I was a work of perfection.
I shook my head a bit, and put my makeup on. 10 minutes later I was out the door, sitting in my car. I turned on my favorite album CD, and sang along to the song as I drove. Tomorrow I must grow up it's my last night...left turn... right turn...wish upon the light...another left turn...second from the right...onto the freeway...twinkle down to me, I believe in the lullaby, if only I could fly, I'd go where a child stays alive...
I pulled into the parking lot and turned off the engine. Walking through the cars, I spotted a dark blue Honda Civic, a girl sitting in the drivers seat, reading a book. I admired her red hair, but I couldn't help but smirk at it; it was poorly groomed. She had nothing but mascara on for makeup, and she wore a T-shirt. She was so into her book she didn't even see me walk up to her car. I took a crumpled piece of paper out of my pocket and chucked it at her window. She jolted at the sound, frantically looking around. I chuckled.
"Wendy! a simple knock would've worked," she said annoyed. It annoyed me a bit that she called me that, I usually went by Gwen. And only my mother called me Gwendolyn. But Wendy? Well, for some reason it kinda seemed...or maybe even felt right for her to call me that. She set the book down and grabbed her backpack from the passengers seat, and stepped out of her car. Despite her sloppy appearance, she always somehow managed to look like the most gorgeous girl on the planet. "We've got to get moving, school started, like, thirty minutes ago." I said.
"Like that'll get me to go into that horrid building."
"Well, if we go now, we'll make it to Biology...and Dracen will be there. So we're off. Come on!" I turned around and took a couple steps, but there was no noise behind me. When I turned back around, she sat there, arms folded, gazing at the street, cars racing back and forth with speed.
"Claryn...?"
"Sorry!" She snapped out of her gaze and her wide blue eyes and gave a shy smile. She ran towards me, and when she caught up, we walked into the school.
"psssst. Claryn, Dracen's looking at you!" Amanda whispered. Claryn's eyes darted towards him, only to be disappointed and find him staring at his phone. He glanced up and saw her staring, and awkwardly raised his eyebrows in confusion. She blushed furiously and glared at Amanda who snickered. "No he wasn't you jerk!" she whispered back. "Girls," said Mr. Lenau. Amanda batted her eyes, faking innocence. "Claryn, don't distract your classmates please." She moaned, rubbing her thumb on her eraser. I rolled my eyes. I got out a piece of paper and ripped off the corner, and pulled out a pen.
Forget her. I rolled it up, set it on my desk, and flicked it at Claryn. She let go of her eraser and held the tiny paper ball. unwrapping it, she read it, and snorted. grabbing a pencil she wrote something on it and threw it back. She's the least of my problems, I read. I wrote back.
spill.
Wendy, I think you'd rather hear it later.
we've only been in class for 15 minutes, I'm going to die of boredom. Just tell me.
No.
Tell. Me.
...I'm leaving.
Don't you dare leave me in this class alone. I need you here.
No, Wendy. Not class. My parents made the decision a while ago and told me last night
Wait....LEAVING?
I'm moving to flippin Wisconsin.
I couldn't even write back. I stuffed the paper in my pocket and put my head down, my eyes peeking over the top of my arms. This couldn't be happening. "...and don't forget, this will all be on the osmosis test tomorrow. I hope you've taken notes," Mr. Lenau said, eyeing me. The bell rang and immediately the class jumped out of their seats, grabbing their things and shoving each other out the door. "If Laney, Gwen, Tristan, and Jake could stay after for a moment, please!" Mr. Lenau shouted over the noise. My turn to moan. I glanced at Claryn, and she shrugged. stairs she mouthed. I nodded. She left the room and I turned to Mr. Lenau.
"I'll be speaking with you first I guess. Gwendolyn, you're grades are.....concerning."
"I'm aware," I snapped.
"You're failing the class."
I sighed. what was new? "And...?"
"I want to help you, but there's nothing I can do other than warn you. If you don't fix this, You'll have to re-take the class."
My head was spinning and throbbing. "I can't.....I can't do that."
"I know how you feel, and that's exactly why you need to do something about it, now." He pulled a stack of papers out of his desk, and let it plop into my hands. "This can save you though. Get all this extra work done by next month, and-"
"Plus homework?"
"Plus homework."
My jaw dropped. "In a month? I have other classes! And a life! I can't just do paperwork all the time, I just-"
He sighed. "Do your best, Gwendolyn. We can work it out. For now, get started on these."
I nodded, my heart falling through my stomach. He patted me awkwardly on the back, and I walked out, down the hall, around the corner, and there was Claryn, sitting on the stairs, reading a different book than the one she had been reading in the car this morning. She looked up at me.
"So?"
"Don't want to talk about it."
"Hey, I've told you my problems, so tell me yours."
Oh, right. I had forgotten about her scenario....how could she be leaving me? Why was she leaving so suddenly? "I'm failing class."
"Oh."
Silence. Without a word, we went to lunch, and pushed through the rest of the day.
Claryn left school early because she was sick. Yeah, right. I walked by myself out to my car when school was over, deep in thought. A group of boys whistled at me, and shouted things at me that made me want to hurl, but I tried to ignore them. I got into the car, started the engine. My CD immediately started playing, and resumed the last song i was listening to. When through my window, right out of a fairy tale...takes me and we sail...stardust marks our trail...sprinkle it on me...
What was I going to do about my grades? There was no way I could get it all done. And Claryn! The only person keeping me above my own fears that I drown in....why! I'd never thought this would happen...
The next song came on.
Falling off the planet to another time and place
Wouldn't be so bad if I knew i could see your face
Jefferson. He's gone. forever. I would never see him again. I turned onto the freeway, almost home, thoughts rolling through my head, faster and faster...
Claryn....Biology....mom....Jefferson....it was enough that I started to cry. I couldn't handle it, was simply too much. Simply....complicated. Mom...Claryn...Jeffers-
Lights. screeching , honking. The last thing I heard was a scream, coming from me, and the last thing I saw was a bright light, heading straight towards me.
And then I heard nothing at all.
And all was black, still, silent.....gone.
Your move, Lindie.
-Maddie
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